For the Love of My Children

Lately, I feel like I’m trying to do it all but achieve nothing. I go, go, go all day and what do I have to show for it?

I just want to sit back and sigh and press the reset button. But there is no reset button. So, I must press on and make the best of what is in front of me now, and that is my children.

My children need me, they come first. I need to make sure that, above all, they are taken care of. I need to be certain they have clean clothes, healthy meals, and, most importantly, a mother who loves them, accepts them and is their stable rock. They look to me to be the one urging them on, ‘do your homework, best handwriting,’ ‘make sure you clean under your bed too,’ ‘don’t forget to brush your teeth.’ They look to me for the love they can only get at home. The love that speaks louder than the nay-sayers at school. They listen to me to tell them that they are special and wonderful and can be anything they want to be. And they can. They’re just kids after all, and they need this chance to be kids. They need to play in the mud and get distracted by something glittering in the sun. They need to get lost in books, and pretend to be ninjas. This is when they learn to cook, not when they have to cook. This is their time to pretend, to grow. At this time in their lives, they have so much ahead of them, and it needs to be nourished and encouraged. I love them too much to take that away from them.

School will come again in fall. My business is still in the works and will come together eventually, and if I’m diligent in looking I will find that job (or some form of income) that lets me start my business and works around family and school schedules. My kids are here, needing me, now, and they need 110% of what I have to give.