Girls Night... More Than Just A Night Out!

While raising 5 kids alone, I'm sure you've already guessed I rarely get a break and moment to myself. They do go with their dad every other weekend, but those weekends I'm catching up. Laundry, decluttering, organizing, etc. It truly is never ending. Even when I get a 'break', I still need a break. This is where the girls night comes in!

Girls night is more than just getting out of the house. It's a movie with real people and real plots in them, not just cartoons and dancing animals. It's realizing the movie you chose to see is incredibly boring and deciding to narrate it yourself with ridiculous plots that would be way more entertaining. It's talking about men, it's talking about decorating, it's talking about clothes. It's a time when you aren't the responsible adult you are the other 364 days of the year. For a few hours, you aren't picking up toys and checking homework.

Now, don't get me wrong. I adore my amazing kids. They are my life, my light in this world. I do everything for them. But sometimes, you just need that solace.

Today, I will continue my mommyhood, catching up on laundry, putting away books, dusting, windows, and organizing. But last night, I was able to feel carefree and 20 again.

Photo copyright graur codrin

Every Woman Ought to Know...

2 years ago I began taking an incredible class taught by an incredible woman. I was fresh out of my marriage and needed to feel strong when I heard about the class a friend at work was taking. I jumped on the invitation to go and fell in love with it right away! I feel powerful! I feel competent! I feel wonderful learning and growing in this class.

What I'm talking about is Ed Parker's American Kenpo. It's a martial art style that is very streamlined, designed for use in confrontations you may run into on the street. We are taught how to get out of holds that one might put on you in an attack. The reason I say every woman needs to know this is because it's, essentially, in depth self defense.

In this class I've learned how to get out of holds like bear hugs and headlocks. Wrist and shoulder grabs. I now know how to react to an attack whereas before I would panic. I've caught myself reflexively blocking and moving away when I would normally cower. I still don't know everything there is to know about this art. It's a lifestyle type of martial art. I've been learning for about 2 years and I'm an orange belt (meaning I've passed 2 tests), so I have a long way to go before I'm even close to knowing and mastering everything. It's quite possible I'll never know everything, but I'm not going to stop trying to learn it. Feeling strong because I have the basics to protect myself is a beautiful thing.

Introducing, *trumpet sounds* The facebook page!

No one person has all the answers when it comes to parenting. I firmly believe in the 'it takes a village' notion. We need many minds working together, helping each other, to find the best way to parent our children. I know what's worked for me, and I will gladly share that. However, we all have those things that have worked wonders for us and we just wish we had a way to let others know about it! This blog will be a community blog. All parents, everywhere, need to be able to share their knowledge. This is where the Facebook page comes in.

I've decided that I will be featuring 5 parents and their wonderful advice each Monday. How do you get featured? Simply join the Live, Love, Learn: A Parenting Blog Facebook page and begin posting your advice! Each week, the 5 posts with the most likes will be featured, along with a little bit about the contributor. So, go post your advice now to be featured this coming Monday, and post every week. Also, be sure to click 'like' on any piece of advice you find insightful or particularly helpful. Share the Facebook page and this blog with your friends. This will allow us all to benefit from the wealth of knowledge out there, and have more fun with games and discussions. The more that participate, the better it will be ;)

Click the link below and lets start having fun!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Live-Love-Learn-A-Parenting-Blog/208796605810219

The Evolution Of Cleaning a Bedroom

At first, you insist they clean it. After a few days who ends up doing the work?

It starts out a mess, after several days of “Clean your room. It’s a mess in there!” Toys, books, clothes, even candy wrappers shoved under the beds. That’s the joy of expecting your kids to take responsibility for their belongings, lol.

You decide you are tired of looking at the mess each time you walk by, so you start shutting the door. The next time you open it the mess has multiplied. I don’t think I want to know what GI Joe and Barbie do when that door is shut, but the toys multiply somehow! Eventually, you start missing the sunlight in the hall that that one room provided. ‘How on earth,’ you begin to wonder, ‘does one room catch all of the light when there are 2 bedrooms on that side of the house!’

You fold. It’s their responsibility, their toys, their clothes, their mess. They should clean it, right? Well, it’s your hall that is now dark and dismal, and they seem to feel no consequences of having a messy room which means, of course, the bedroom will never get clean by them… unless you work with them.

You call them into their room and delegate. “I will pick up the toys,” (of course, they will play with the toys if they are assigned that chore) “You pick up the clothes and put them in the hamper, and you,” meaning child #2, “pick up the books.”

Everyone begins their work, working nicely side by side. You diligently pick up the toys, even scanning the carpet for renegade Lego pieces. Child 1 talks and talks as he gathers the laundry. Child 2 sits and reads the books, but slowly places them on the shelf with your gentle prodding, “No, sweetie, it’s time to clean, not read. But I’m glad you enjoy reading so much!”

You continue to focus on the toys, Lego. By. Lego. Eventually someone has to go potty or someone needs a drink. Of course, the first time they come back immediately. The second time, it takes a few minutes to return. The 3rd time, you call. They come. The 4th time you leave your post in search of the missing party. The 5th time, however, you give up. You finish the toys, you finish the clothes, you finish the books. You make the bed, you do a last minute scan of the carpet for those dang Legos, rev up the vacuum and put the finishing touches on the room. By now the children who live in that room are off enjoying the sun, riding their bikes, or zoned out on the couch with a book.

“They’ll learn,” you tell yourself, “someday…. I hope.”

For the Love of My Children

Lately, I feel like I’m trying to do it all but achieve nothing. I go, go, go all day and what do I have to show for it?

I just want to sit back and sigh and press the reset button. But there is no reset button. So, I must press on and make the best of what is in front of me now, and that is my children.

My children need me, they come first. I need to make sure that, above all, they are taken care of. I need to be certain they have clean clothes, healthy meals, and, most importantly, a mother who loves them, accepts them and is their stable rock. They look to me to be the one urging them on, ‘do your homework, best handwriting,’ ‘make sure you clean under your bed too,’ ‘don’t forget to brush your teeth.’ They look to me for the love they can only get at home. The love that speaks louder than the nay-sayers at school. They listen to me to tell them that they are special and wonderful and can be anything they want to be. And they can. They’re just kids after all, and they need this chance to be kids. They need to play in the mud and get distracted by something glittering in the sun. They need to get lost in books, and pretend to be ninjas. This is when they learn to cook, not when they have to cook. This is their time to pretend, to grow. At this time in their lives, they have so much ahead of them, and it needs to be nourished and encouraged. I love them too much to take that away from them.

School will come again in fall. My business is still in the works and will come together eventually, and if I’m diligent in looking I will find that job (or some form of income) that lets me start my business and works around family and school schedules. My kids are here, needing me, now, and they need 110% of what I have to give.

Introduction

I’m a single mother of 5 between the ages of 3 and 10. My kids are incredible. They are kind, polite, respectful. I couldn't ask for anything more. I'm just so happy to be blessed with them. I’ve been ‘single’ for almost 3 years, and will hopefully have the divorce finalized this summer. I’m an artist in many ways, but I promise you I can’t draw to save my life. Instead, I use my camera and I perform.

Words, poetry, is kind of a new thing for me. I would jot down notes in my notebook while bored as a teen, but haven’t really written anything until lately. I met an awesome friend in my theater class recently who sort of sparked my interest in writing again. Photography, however, I’ve loved since I was 10. I fell in love with images and photos, good photos, almost 20 years ago and decided I was going to be a photographer. About 7 years ago I got my first SLR camera and began learning how to create good photos. About

5 years ago I got my first digital SLR. Since then I’ve honed my skill more and more. I admit I have a long way to go before I’m one of the great photographers of our time, but I will get there.

I spent just under 8 years as a stay at home mother and have been, over the last 3 years, trying to figure out where I fit in this world, what I have to offer. I’ve come to realize that you need a degree to get anywhere. I am a full time math student. Why math? Well, you can get a job doing almost anything with a math degree. And math comes easily to me. I can tell you, though, it is incredibly difficult trying to resist switching my major to theater, lol. At this time, I’m contemplating a double major… Math and art… What a combo, lol. What type of art? So many forms of art, it’s hard to choose! Photography is an obvious choice, but theater is another obvious choice. Music, dance… Art is too vast a subject to easily make a decision, lol.

For now, though, I am just being me. I’m trying to get a photography business going, looking for work I can do part time that will allow me to be home with my kids most of the time while I figure out this whole business thing.