The Evolution Of Cleaning a Bedroom

At first, you insist they clean it. After a few days who ends up doing the work?

It starts out a mess, after several days of “Clean your room. It’s a mess in there!” Toys, books, clothes, even candy wrappers shoved under the beds. That’s the joy of expecting your kids to take responsibility for their belongings, lol.

You decide you are tired of looking at the mess each time you walk by, so you start shutting the door. The next time you open it the mess has multiplied. I don’t think I want to know what GI Joe and Barbie do when that door is shut, but the toys multiply somehow! Eventually, you start missing the sunlight in the hall that that one room provided. ‘How on earth,’ you begin to wonder, ‘does one room catch all of the light when there are 2 bedrooms on that side of the house!’

You fold. It’s their responsibility, their toys, their clothes, their mess. They should clean it, right? Well, it’s your hall that is now dark and dismal, and they seem to feel no consequences of having a messy room which means, of course, the bedroom will never get clean by them… unless you work with them.

You call them into their room and delegate. “I will pick up the toys,” (of course, they will play with the toys if they are assigned that chore) “You pick up the clothes and put them in the hamper, and you,” meaning child #2, “pick up the books.”

Everyone begins their work, working nicely side by side. You diligently pick up the toys, even scanning the carpet for renegade Lego pieces. Child 1 talks and talks as he gathers the laundry. Child 2 sits and reads the books, but slowly places them on the shelf with your gentle prodding, “No, sweetie, it’s time to clean, not read. But I’m glad you enjoy reading so much!”

You continue to focus on the toys, Lego. By. Lego. Eventually someone has to go potty or someone needs a drink. Of course, the first time they come back immediately. The second time, it takes a few minutes to return. The 3rd time, you call. They come. The 4th time you leave your post in search of the missing party. The 5th time, however, you give up. You finish the toys, you finish the clothes, you finish the books. You make the bed, you do a last minute scan of the carpet for those dang Legos, rev up the vacuum and put the finishing touches on the room. By now the children who live in that room are off enjoying the sun, riding their bikes, or zoned out on the couch with a book.

“They’ll learn,” you tell yourself, “someday…. I hope.”

For the Love of My Children

Lately, I feel like I’m trying to do it all but achieve nothing. I go, go, go all day and what do I have to show for it?

I just want to sit back and sigh and press the reset button. But there is no reset button. So, I must press on and make the best of what is in front of me now, and that is my children.

My children need me, they come first. I need to make sure that, above all, they are taken care of. I need to be certain they have clean clothes, healthy meals, and, most importantly, a mother who loves them, accepts them and is their stable rock. They look to me to be the one urging them on, ‘do your homework, best handwriting,’ ‘make sure you clean under your bed too,’ ‘don’t forget to brush your teeth.’ They look to me for the love they can only get at home. The love that speaks louder than the nay-sayers at school. They listen to me to tell them that they are special and wonderful and can be anything they want to be. And they can. They’re just kids after all, and they need this chance to be kids. They need to play in the mud and get distracted by something glittering in the sun. They need to get lost in books, and pretend to be ninjas. This is when they learn to cook, not when they have to cook. This is their time to pretend, to grow. At this time in their lives, they have so much ahead of them, and it needs to be nourished and encouraged. I love them too much to take that away from them.

School will come again in fall. My business is still in the works and will come together eventually, and if I’m diligent in looking I will find that job (or some form of income) that lets me start my business and works around family and school schedules. My kids are here, needing me, now, and they need 110% of what I have to give.