I am back with a renewed spirit of transformation for this blog! With everything that has gone on this last year and a half I feel the desire to change the intent of this blog from inspiring parenting ramblings to life as a single mother.
I have felt such a need to just type, write, release the feelings I've had, not limited to frustration but also to the funny, confusing and altogether entertaining aspects of life. I hope you all can relate!
I have prepared a few blog entries that I will post over the next few days, the first one being posted tomorrow morning. So, welcome back to my blog! I'm sure we'll have some fun around here!
If there are any topics you would be interested to hear my take on please email me! I'd love to hear from you!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Being single means, yes, I date. Let me tell you, it's not easy finding a decent guy! If you go online you run the risk of dating a complete psycho who looks nothing like his profile photos. If you meet them at a club, chances are they just want to hook up. You meet them at church and they're married (of course, all good Christians have good marriages... or at least won't admit it if they aren't all sunshine and roses). Besides, what's the likelihood of actually meeting someone who is actually single just in every day life (and if you know how I wouldn't mind a tip or 2, lol).
I've dated men in several different catagories. The friend, the friend's friend, the guy I just met somewhere and, well look at that, he's single and cute! I've also dated several men from the internet, each one unique in his own way. There was the one that ended up a good friend, the ones that just wanted sex, the good friend that originally wanted sex then changed his attitude when he realized I wasn't up for it, the clinger, the hippie, the critic, the good guy gone bad.
I met the friend on a photo shoot. He seemed nice, we had a common interest, though I wasn't completely attracted to him, we got along. We dated for 4 months, but soon I realized that having that common interest led to competition. Yeah, that didn't work out so well. The friend's friend ended up more interested in my friend than in me. He wanted to get in good with her so jumped at the chance to spend any time with her, even if it meant a double date.... with her and her boyfriend. The guy I happened to meet somewhere, well, we never really hit it off. He seemed nice in the 10 minutes before he asked me out, but once we were on the first (and only) date the conversation was just dead. The one that ended up a good friend is still just that almost a year later. My first online dating experience and, well, he seemed nice. We just didn't work as a couple from the start so we never really tried but we would hike and hang out. Another one that ended up a good friend originally propositioned me then backpeddled when he realized we were talking about 2 completely different topics. Mr Clingy told me he loved me on the second date, started talking about marriage, by the 3rd and became controlling by the 4th. Nope, he didn't last long either. The hippie didn't mention to divulge the fact that he's a vegan prior to taking me out to dinner where, after I ordered chicken, he ordered tofu and talked about living on a commune. The critic had an opinion about absolutely everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Let me tell you, none of the opinions were good. The good guy gone bad was just amazing... at first. He seemed to be everything I was looking for in a man! He was kind, intelligent, interested in the same subjects as me, hard working, a good father, adored my kids. Then after about 5 months changed his tune and decided he wasn't as into me as he was originally... after finding out I was pregnant with his baby. That one stung.
I've gone back and forth in my stance on being single. Most of the time I'm content. I'm just happy to be alive. Other times I get lonely and just want arms around me, holding me, and someone bigger than me sitting next to me on the couch. Yet, other times I am outright proud to be single and relish in how much freedom I have.
Being a single mom is tough, but I'll take that over a bad relationship any day!
I've dated men in several different catagories. The friend, the friend's friend, the guy I just met somewhere and, well look at that, he's single and cute! I've also dated several men from the internet, each one unique in his own way. There was the one that ended up a good friend, the ones that just wanted sex, the good friend that originally wanted sex then changed his attitude when he realized I wasn't up for it, the clinger, the hippie, the critic, the good guy gone bad.
I met the friend on a photo shoot. He seemed nice, we had a common interest, though I wasn't completely attracted to him, we got along. We dated for 4 months, but soon I realized that having that common interest led to competition. Yeah, that didn't work out so well. The friend's friend ended up more interested in my friend than in me. He wanted to get in good with her so jumped at the chance to spend any time with her, even if it meant a double date.... with her and her boyfriend. The guy I happened to meet somewhere, well, we never really hit it off. He seemed nice in the 10 minutes before he asked me out, but once we were on the first (and only) date the conversation was just dead. The one that ended up a good friend is still just that almost a year later. My first online dating experience and, well, he seemed nice. We just didn't work as a couple from the start so we never really tried but we would hike and hang out. Another one that ended up a good friend originally propositioned me then backpeddled when he realized we were talking about 2 completely different topics. Mr Clingy told me he loved me on the second date, started talking about marriage, by the 3rd and became controlling by the 4th. Nope, he didn't last long either. The hippie didn't mention to divulge the fact that he's a vegan prior to taking me out to dinner where, after I ordered chicken, he ordered tofu and talked about living on a commune. The critic had an opinion about absolutely everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! Let me tell you, none of the opinions were good. The good guy gone bad was just amazing... at first. He seemed to be everything I was looking for in a man! He was kind, intelligent, interested in the same subjects as me, hard working, a good father, adored my kids. Then after about 5 months changed his tune and decided he wasn't as into me as he was originally... after finding out I was pregnant with his baby. That one stung.
I've gone back and forth in my stance on being single. Most of the time I'm content. I'm just happy to be alive. Other times I get lonely and just want arms around me, holding me, and someone bigger than me sitting next to me on the couch. Yet, other times I am outright proud to be single and relish in how much freedom I have.
Being a single mom is tough, but I'll take that over a bad relationship any day!
Monday, March 26, 2012
I'm back!
After a rather eventful several months I'm back. There have been many ups and downs, the ever present battles I have been fighting rage on and I'm somehow making it through everything with a genuine smile on my face.
The truth is, despite everything that's going on in my life, I'm happy. Storms come, but they pass. I know that the sun is always just behind those clouds and it's only a matter of seeing the small rays of light that break through and holding onto them. It's remembering the warmth of those isolated rays after they've faded into gloom. It's finding shelter in the night, the darkest part of the storm, knowing that it's only temporary and eventually everything will be ok.
It doesn't really matter what my current storm is. All that matters is the fact that I'm alive and well. Someday, everything that has been wearing me down will show to be that which is strengthening me for something big.
K
The truth is, despite everything that's going on in my life, I'm happy. Storms come, but they pass. I know that the sun is always just behind those clouds and it's only a matter of seeing the small rays of light that break through and holding onto them. It's remembering the warmth of those isolated rays after they've faded into gloom. It's finding shelter in the night, the darkest part of the storm, knowing that it's only temporary and eventually everything will be ok.
It doesn't really matter what my current storm is. All that matters is the fact that I'm alive and well. Someday, everything that has been wearing me down will show to be that which is strengthening me for something big.
K
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I Apologize!
This has been quite a week! The construction knocked out my internet, then I threw out my back and was laid out for a few days! I promise to get back to normal posting as soon as possible! Thank you!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ack!
Well, it looks like the construction next to my home has knocked out my internet access!! I'll try to get to a computer each day to post something, but for today this is my post! Sorry! I'll get this figured out! :)
Monday, May 9, 2011
You expect my kid to remember what???
This has bugged me for quite some time. It's ridiculous how much my kids are supposedly expected to remember. Homework, of course. That's a given and I fully support it. They need to maintain constant learning. I keep educational materials at home to give them something the keep them thinking at all times when they don't have homework.
However, expecting a child, a 5 year old child at that, to keep track of a weeks worth of homework between Monday and Thursday? That's just too much! It ends up becoming the responsibility of the parents. We already know how to do this. We know how to organize our paperwork and belongings. We don't need to learn how. If we do it, which is what ends up happening in my home until said 5 year old becomes zealous about doing his homework without help and/or direction to put it away properly leading to lost homework on Thursday night, then how are they to be expected to learn to do it for themselves?
I'm a big believer in teaching a child responsibility from the moment they are old enough to put their own socks in the hamper (roughly age 1 in my book). But, I also believe that the level of responsibility given to the child should be age appropriate. Children, particularly young children, have a hard time making long term goals. For a 5 year old a week is a long time. He needs nightly homework, sent home daily. I was told that it was more work for the teachers to send home the homework daily. Really? It's the same amount of work, it's just graded all at once. Instead, many children (because I doubt my one child is the exception) are heading toward failure because 1. they are not being taught the responsibility of taking care of their own work, 2. they are losing the credit they would get if they had just done it and turned it in daily, and 3. becoming discouraged because of numbers 1, 2 or both leading to lower academic performance.
Please, I beg you, do my children and all other children a favor. Give them a fighting chance at learning the responsibility to remember a weeks worth of homework before throwing them into the practice of it.
However, expecting a child, a 5 year old child at that, to keep track of a weeks worth of homework between Monday and Thursday? That's just too much! It ends up becoming the responsibility of the parents. We already know how to do this. We know how to organize our paperwork and belongings. We don't need to learn how. If we do it, which is what ends up happening in my home until said 5 year old becomes zealous about doing his homework without help and/or direction to put it away properly leading to lost homework on Thursday night, then how are they to be expected to learn to do it for themselves?
I'm a big believer in teaching a child responsibility from the moment they are old enough to put their own socks in the hamper (roughly age 1 in my book). But, I also believe that the level of responsibility given to the child should be age appropriate. Children, particularly young children, have a hard time making long term goals. For a 5 year old a week is a long time. He needs nightly homework, sent home daily. I was told that it was more work for the teachers to send home the homework daily. Really? It's the same amount of work, it's just graded all at once. Instead, many children (because I doubt my one child is the exception) are heading toward failure because 1. they are not being taught the responsibility of taking care of their own work, 2. they are losing the credit they would get if they had just done it and turned it in daily, and 3. becoming discouraged because of numbers 1, 2 or both leading to lower academic performance.
Please, I beg you, do my children and all other children a favor. Give them a fighting chance at learning the responsibility to remember a weeks worth of homework before throwing them into the practice of it.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Refresh and Renew
Whether Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Athiest, Agnostic... Any religion that may exist... Every person, young, old and everywhere in between deserves a time to renew themselves.
Many parents forget this. Too many of us forget about ourselves while taking care of our families. We see a time to relax and rest as something to do in the future, when the kids are asleep, at school, grown.
It is too important to remember our own needs. How, I ask, are you to be expected to give and give and give when you have had no chance to refill your energy? What happens? If you are like most parents you eventually reach your limit. You get grumpy. Your patience wears thin. You start snapping. Does your family deserve this? Do they really deserve the sub-par care that an over-worked parent provides? Or, do they deserve a well rested, happy, energetic parent?
Let's look at ways we can renew.
-Meditate, stretch, yoga. Relax your mind and body. Focus on your breathing, slowly, evenly, deeply. Close your eyes and minimize stimuli, such as light and noise. Learn simple stretching and/or yoga techniques such as back stretches and pelvic tilts
-Sleep. Take a power nap in the middle of the day. A 15 minute nap can renew your energy in astounding ways. It relaxes your muscles, but allows you to remain aware, preventing the grogginess that happens after reaching REM sleep.
-Kind deeds. Showing kindness to others allows us to feel a larger purpose in life. We feel fulfilled when we've done acts of service. Look at the needs of your neighbors. Is there a widow/widower in your neighborhood who would appreciate a weekly chat with you? A new mother who needs a meal? Though it takes more energy to provide most forms of service, they renew your spirit and make you feel involved in the community.
-Take a walk. Just a quick, refreshing walk around the block can benefit you in many ways. It's a moment to reflect without the distractions of everyday life. It allows you to think and clear your head. The activity gets your heart beating, allowing oxygen to reach your muscles and brain. Have you ever noticed how you feel energized despite a vigorous workout? It's because your body was doing what it is designed to do. The air outside of your home, even if you live fairly close to a busy road, is usually cleaner than the air inside. Why? The air in your home gets trapped. It doesn't move, and when it does it's typically recirculated, leaving contagions and the air.
How do you renew yourselves? Do you have a set schedule for renewal? Remember to invite your friends to share their ideas as well.
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